Corn is for Lovers - If you move to Iowa, don't get Sprint
Before living in Arkansas and Oklahoma, I lived in small town Iowa. This past weekend I went back to see the fam. It was great. My aunts, uncles, and cousins are the coolest.
The town I was in is so small that a complete stranger guessed who my mom is while I was at my cousin's basketball game because I look like her. She hadn't seen my mom in over 20 years and had never seen me before.
Some things about my trip:
On the drive there, I realized I am very good at singing, but only when I'm alone in my car. If I could cure my stagefright, I would so win American Idol. I also saw a sign that said, "Don't Drive into Smoke." Are you kidding me? Do people really need to be told this? I say if they do, we should let them, and hopefully they'll do so before they produce offspring. I then saw a billboard for dentures. I have to question whether this is a good use of that company's advertising dollars. I also got very depressed to discover 80s music being played on the oldies radio stations. Sigh. On the way there, I stayed a night in Kansas City and went out with a friend. We had a good time. Kansas City is alright with me.
While in Iowa, my grandma told me I needed to find an Adventist church in Tulsa, so I could find a nice boyfriend who would not be using drugs (my great aunt made sure to tell me to find a rich one too). And all this time I was going for smart, attractive, and funny, and thought church was for practicing religion. Perhaps grandma's onto something though. My current love life is more messed up than Bush's war on terrorism, so maybe I will go to church next Saturday. I was also fortunate to stay in the Coca-Cola capital of Iowa (that's Alantic for those not familiar) for one night. Once again, Coke has proved their marketing genius.
Probably the highlight of the trip was Friday night when my family turned the town restaurant into a dance floor. I added to my injuries with a failed attempt to do the worm on a concrete floor. The next night we were in Council Bluffs and went to the casino. From now on I am not gambling in establishments that do not provide free booze and Pai Gow is my new favorite table game. I got back just in time to see the Seahawks lose to the Steelers (hooray!), and more importantly catch Grey's Anatomy. Good stuff. So, what else about Iowa? There is a lot of corn, and overalls are still in style.
The town I was in is so small that a complete stranger guessed who my mom is while I was at my cousin's basketball game because I look like her. She hadn't seen my mom in over 20 years and had never seen me before.
Some things about my trip:
On the drive there, I realized I am very good at singing, but only when I'm alone in my car. If I could cure my stagefright, I would so win American Idol. I also saw a sign that said, "Don't Drive into Smoke." Are you kidding me? Do people really need to be told this? I say if they do, we should let them, and hopefully they'll do so before they produce offspring. I then saw a billboard for dentures. I have to question whether this is a good use of that company's advertising dollars. I also got very depressed to discover 80s music being played on the oldies radio stations. Sigh. On the way there, I stayed a night in Kansas City and went out with a friend. We had a good time. Kansas City is alright with me.
While in Iowa, my grandma told me I needed to find an Adventist church in Tulsa, so I could find a nice boyfriend who would not be using drugs (my great aunt made sure to tell me to find a rich one too). And all this time I was going for smart, attractive, and funny, and thought church was for practicing religion. Perhaps grandma's onto something though. My current love life is more messed up than Bush's war on terrorism, so maybe I will go to church next Saturday. I was also fortunate to stay in the Coca-Cola capital of Iowa (that's Alantic for those not familiar) for one night. Once again, Coke has proved their marketing genius.
Probably the highlight of the trip was Friday night when my family turned the town restaurant into a dance floor. I added to my injuries with a failed attempt to do the worm on a concrete floor. The next night we were in Council Bluffs and went to the casino. From now on I am not gambling in establishments that do not provide free booze and Pai Gow is my new favorite table game. I got back just in time to see the Seahawks lose to the Steelers (hooray!), and more importantly catch Grey's Anatomy. Good stuff. So, what else about Iowa? There is a lot of corn, and overalls are still in style.
posted by April at 4:16 PM
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