I need a babysitter

At one o'clock this morning:

April: Did you pull me over for making that U-turn just now?
Officer: No, I pulled you over for going 15 over the speed limit, license and registration please.

April hands officer small rectangular card and piece a paper.

Officer: This is not your insurance and this is your debit card. It's not going to do me any good.
April: Yeah, it doesn't do me any good either.
Officer: I recommend against drinking and driving.
April: Me too, that's why I'm the designated driver.

April hands officer driver's license, then goes home with NO tickets, heats up burrito and eats almost a third of it before discovering it is really moldy.

And scene.